Thursday, June 4, 2009

Are You...Ms. Typed? BGG Chats w/Dr. Michelle!

If you watch The Tyra Banks Show, The Oprah Winfrey Show, or Today, chances are you've seen Dr. Michelle Callahan lend her expertise on relationships, mental health, dating, etc. The incredibly down-to-earth psychologist and dating coach has recently penned her first book, "Ms. Typed: Discover Your True Dating Personality and Rewrite Your Romantic Future," which provides a hilarious take on the different dating personalities we all have.


From the "Ms. Sex Machine" to the "Ms. Independent" woman, Dr. Michelle gives savvy advice on how to stop sabotaging our relationships and find the mates of our dreams.

Check out our Q&A:
BGG: What made you decide to write “Ms. Typed?”
Dr. Michelle: I talk to a lot of women who are frustrated with their love lives and they want advice on how to change their partners, instead of realizing that the best way to change their romantic future is to change themselves. You can’t control what a man does, but you can control what you do. When you become a happier and healthier person, you attract a happier and healthier partner and relationship. I decide to write Ms. Typed to show women how they get in their own way during their dating relationships and how they sabotage their chances of finding love.

BGG: What do you feel is the biggest mistake women make while dating?
Dr. Michelle: I think one of the biggest mistakes women make while dating is pretending to be someone who they are not and compromising their own integrity and values. That’s exactly what being Ms. Typed is about. It’s about losing yourself in a relationship only to discover that pretending to be someone you aren’t and giving a man any and everything he wants doesn’t work. You can’t beg, borrow or steal to make love work. When you are your true self and let men know who you are, and what you believe in, the men have the choice to stay or move on. You really only want to deal with the ones who are interested in the real you, not the super sexy, fun, casual, no cares, “I’ll do anything for you” type of person many women pretend to be in order to keep a man interested.

BGG: Once a woman realizes that she is “Ms. Typed,” what’s the easiest way for her to break that cycle?
Dr. Michelle: Once a woman takes the quiz and determines that she has been Ms. Typed, she should read the chapter about her dating type and follow the specific advice for her type. Also, women are often more than one type, so she should read the chapters about her other types. If she discovers that the advice is helpful, but that she really needs to change her thinking and a whole lot more, she can use the Ms. Typed Makeover Kit to help her transform her entire life to find her true dating personality and create a healthy foundation for future dating relationships. The Ms. Typed Makeover Kit will walk women through creating a vision for their lives, letting go of what is holding them back, and taking action on all of their dreams and plans.

BGG: Do you think that men are drawn to certain, “Ms. Types?”
Dr. Michelle: Men are attracted to the types that are the nicest and most accommodating to men’s needs like Ms. Second Place, Ms. Mom, Ms. Rose Colored Glasses and Ms. Sex Machine. All of these types place being in a relationship at the top of their list and they usually work very hard to maintain their relationships, even when it works against their own best interest.

BGG: Healthy relationships take work and we know that communication is key, how can women effectively communicate with their mates?
Dr. Michelle: Women should be honest about their feelings, but be careful not to overwhelm their partners by telling too much too soon. When you first start dating someone, you don’t have to tell them all of your dirty laundry, how many sexual partners you’ve ever had, or everything that was wrong with your Ex. When you are in a more serious relationship, try to keep the conversation focused on what you need your partner to do differently, instead of just generally complaining. You shouldn’t have to go on and on to make your point. If you are constantly telling your partner what you need and he isn’t listening or adjusting his behavior, you might be with the wrong person. Be honest and specific, and when things start to get heated, take a break and revisit the topic later. Don’t push things over the line by insisting that you keep talking even when one or both of you is getting really upset.

BGG: What advice do you have for women who believe that they’ll never find a “good man?”
Dr. Michelle: Women may need to redefine what they consider to be a “good” man. Sometimes what we WANT and what we NEED isn’t the same thing. Women often overlook a “good” man who has what they need, but not what they want. Make a list of your relationship wants and needs and see what a difference there is between what is nice to have versus what is absolutely necessary. Also, when women are Ms. Typed, they could meet a “good” man and they would let their “issues” get in the way. Ms. Typed often misses out on Mr. Right because she isn’t ready to be in a relationship. You may know a good man, but your own relationship baggage might be getting in the way of the two of you successfully getting together.


Available at bookstores nationwide for $21.95

How would you describe your dating personality or do you know someone who has a personality dating pattern?

One lucky winner will win a copy of the book! Just leave a comment and a winner will be selected randomly and announced tomorrow.

**Update: The winner of the book is Loc'd & Loaded! Please send me your mailing address info! Congrats!

23 comments:

mimieyes said...

Wow! I would love to read this book. Having a relationship is hard and it is
good to always find ways to change.
I love your interview and I think there are going to be a lot of readers who
will agree with me.

dark n stormy said...

Interesting! I never heard of Dr. Michelle. Those "types" listed on the front cover are intriguing. I'd love to crack this book open.

Loc'd-n-Loaded said...

Awesome! I would love to have a copy of this book. Thanks BGG

Carmesha said...

I love Dr. Michelle, I see her on talk shows & read her advice in magazines all the time. Didn't know she had a book, Would love to read it!

Product Junkie Diva said...

WOW interesting book. I know some people with specific dating patterns, Ms. drama and others..lol
PJD

Ananda said...

Great interview Karla. Thanks Dr. Michelle for sharing. I love what Dr. Michelle wrote: "When you become a happier and healthier person, you attract a happier and healthier partner and relationship."

Afia said...

Although I am happily married, I still thought the interview was oh so interesting and it made me want to read the book. I hope I am the lucky winner!

K-Bear said...

BGG, great interview! I've seen her on Oprah. She's good and right on point. Her book sounds like a must read for a girl like me. I wonder if there is a Ms. Bye Bye....that would be me!

Bam said...

In any relationship you have to openly express your expectations, and state what will and will not be tolerated. People can only treat you the way you allow yourself to be treated.

Liz said...

This book looks like it's very fun. It is SO reminiscent to me of another great dating book, Why I Love Men: The Joys of Dating. It's another down-to-earth one -- you can find out how to assess your "relationship market value," and get the secrets of attracting the keeping the man you choose. I also like that it stressed building your own great life, and that, in turn attracts the best men for you. The Dr. Michelle book sounds very funny, too, as is "Why I Love Men." Very entertaining -- and you still get lots of tips to improve your dating life.

And now, I want to find out my own type.

Coco said...

I think the book would be a wonderful read. Looking at the cover I think I may be Ms. Independent but I am sure that is not all I am.

Rebee said...

Great interview. I've seen Dr. Michelle a couple of times on Tyra. The book appears to be an interesting read.

Khadijah said...

I've seen Dr. Michelle on numerous shows and she's great! A real tell-it-straight-like-it-is doctor. The book seems very interesting..and I like that it's written to women by a woman. Hmm..I'm defintely a mixture of more than one dating personality..lol

Anonymous said...

perhaps your reader AZ should buy this book. She might find it in good use.

Boogie said...

I think I am Ms. Typed. :?

chichi said...

Great answers. I would love to read this book cos I think I may be Ms. Typed

spitfire said...

never heard of her, but at least she came up with a clever gimmick on an old topic (women & relationships)

that guy said...

another great interview bgg

Lex said...

Looove Dr. Michelle & cannot wait to get my hands on this book!!

Brown Girl Gumbo said...

The winner is Liz! :-)

Please email me your mailing address.

Congrats!

Brown Girl Gumbo said...

@ Anonymous - My friend AZ would no longer find use out of this book. I think her dating days are over!! :-)

Anonymous said...

I guess 3rd time...or is it 4th time, is a charm!! Hopefully this will be the last and final time that "her dating days are over." The girl sure is quick to pick up another though. Props to her.

-Anonymous

Ms. Psychology said...

I love books like this that can help you learn more about yourself and what you can do to change things for the better. I am so into self-help books! I like Dr. Michelle's perspective on women and relationships and would love to read this book.